Eventful week in November

I know I don't write to this blog as much as I should but when I do it is because there is something to say, and here it is.
Just a normal week in November, trip to the doctors to get the flu jab all non descript except that the nurse got me mixed up with someone else who was actually the next erson in to see her but anyway I got my flu jab and I was on my way. Tuesday first meeting was cancelled so I was on my way to a meeting to stand in for my boss only I never got to the meeting! I was travelling along the road, not going too fast in boy racer style but going along nicely when all of a sudden I couldn't feel the road, the car started to veer towards the oncoming traffic, I turned the steering wheel and headed towards the left hand side towards the pavement. I saw the bollards coming towards me then I flipped and somehow landed upright again.
The passenger side window smashed, the side impact bag came out but I still smashed my head against the driver's window then I came to a halt. Firstly I was alive, secondly I could move but I could smell burning and hear running liquid so I switched off the car and left the vehicle. I think I hit some Diesel spill on the road and that made me lose control. At least in winter you are more alert to ice I did not even think of this as I headed into the bend. Thankfully I am alright I was handled and processed brilliantly by the Police officers who were in attendance. The ambulance crew were great as were the A&E staff at the QE Hospital in Gateshead I couldn't thank them enough. Two hours later and I am being whisked back home by a work colleague shattered aching but OK!

Wednesday I was in hospital again for a root nerve injection (see previous posts). The staff again were great and made me feel at ease. The operation was routine and the needle hurt quite a bit in the later stages.
I feel optimistic about the results after 24 hrs the pain is almost gone but still twinges. The Doctor wouldn't do both side so have to go back in December to have the other side done. At least I now know what I am in for.
Thursday I am very tired although I slept well yesterday afternoon. I think I need to just take things one step at a time and see where we get to.
I am here and full of life and just hoping the injection will work so that I can get my life back and do the things I want to do. I feel so sorry for Maria though as she maybe the one who has to keep me safe xx. Anyway almost Friday lets see what the rest of the week holds.

Forget me not

See I have found my way back here it's just not as often as I would like.

So what has happened since the last time I blogged well quite a bit. I have just returned from Southampton visiting Louise it was a family affair with Jade along as well, she is like family anyway. We met the boyfriend Louis seems a nice guy quite a good sense of humour and all that. Bodil and I had a look around the area we found Winchester

which is very quaint. The Cathedral is lovely and the town is vibrant but Olde Worlde if you know what I mean.

We then made our way to Portsmouth hoping to get to the Spinnaker Tower however the traffic was just mad the amount of people around was phenomenal. We spent the time it took for 4 changes of traffic lights sequence where no-one moved and eventually gave up the explorer spirit and headed away from the malestrom which was Portsmouth. We ended up going to Port Solent and then out towards Fareham and then stopped for something to eat at about 15.00! Crazy!

Anyway we enjoyed our time there and eventually left the girls and we trundled up the country.It was amazing after the journey down which was full of traffic jams and road works we managed to hit Leicester Forest Motorway services in about 2 hours fantastic! We then worked our way to our frinds Geoff and Les who live in Wakefield. We were going to stop for tea but time was getting on so we hit the road after about an hour and a half catching up and we eventually arrived home at about 18.00 tired but happy after a great time away. Bodil started work on Thursday whilst I did work on my MA Dissertation and I can tell you that I have written 536 words out of a requested 15,000 but as they say every little helps :)
We spent Halloween round at our friends Gerry and Karen with their children and I must admit Karen always does make a great occasion out of the festivities we had Pumpkin soup, Baked Potatoes and Chili Con Carne with a Pasta bake for us veggies with cheese and biscuits to follow Oh and a couple of GnT's followed by Red Wine dutifully adhered to by Gerry the perfect Mien Host So the end of the holiday and now to look forward to Christmas. I have to have a root Injection on later in the month so hopefully that will sort my neck problems out and I can get on with returning to full fitness.

Strange Saturday

Well Friday night Saturday morning really Maria had a do and that put us both out of order she is coming around now though but with a headache.

Today has been a day to do nothing I have followed that maxim to the full apart from going to the supermarket for some bread and cheese. My body is aching and I don't mind saying I am pissed off with it but I know I can't do anything about it. Maybe the nerve root injection in November will help I hope so the chances of me returning to windsurfing are getting less and less by the minute.

I am looking forward to going to see Louise in a couple of weeks time in Southampton. SHe seems really settled and has made some great friends so she is well on her way to becoming independent and self sufficient so we can say "job well done".

I am listening to the match commentary on Nottingham Forest versus Newcastle and wondering when Newcastle will ever be the side they used to be? Maybe never!

Just to remind you that the World Vegan Day looms!

Testament to the Last Posting

As you can see it is really difficult to keep up the posts mainly because I am unable to access my blog at work (its a security thing apparently) So the time I get to be creative is limited outside work. Anyway I found time today because I am getting ready to go on holiday and as you do you find time when in "holiday mode". So where am I going you may ask well I am going with full compliment of family to Ireland, home of my ancestors allegedly! The story goes that the family tree can only be traced back to Ireland and a change of name because the Police were looking for my great great great uncle.... probably all blarney anyway I was probably related to the great Fin MacCumhail and his Fenians in olden times anyway still it will be great to get away and have some quality time with family and friends in Dunmore East County Waterford. The GCSE results are out tomorrow so Maria will be in early to meet her friends and get her results. I hope she does well as she has worked hard and really deserves to get her grades but as we have always said, it isn't the end of the world and even if she didn't get one grade, she could always take them again next year so there is no problem.

Lack of Posts

Now that am back at work it is really hard to keep posts up as the network will not allow access to the blog. Since I have been back I have been really tired which is unlike me. A couple of times I have coe home from work and just had to go to bed to wake some 3/4 hours later and then still being able to sleep through the night. Bodil says old age but I don't know. It is surprising how much hard work going to work is crazy really. Anyway apart fro the frustration around the network denying access to sites it is good to be back. Nothing has changed as far as the personnel are concerned exept for the fact that there is a new technical person who is involved in creating program stuff.
I am off today because I am so tired, I worked really hard yesterday moving tables and stuff (I know I should take it easy) but it is difficult when there is no one else around.

I have just signed a petition to free Aung San Suu Kyi in Burma. What a remakable person but what a cynical regime that is so frightened of this woman that they have to keep her locked up. China and Russia should hold their heads in shame at supporting such a weak Burmese regime.

The Lone Turf Lodge Claret

So I am sat here last thinking a trip to Burnley would be great to see the Clarets take on Leeds and so Happy August 1st I am now packing ready to go down to the hallowed ground and see the game. I will be sitting in the Bob Lord Stand which is a first Bob Lord 4 Row H 124 just around the half way mark can't be bad. Wish I had my Canon Camera with me though never mind I will be sure to have a good day out will set off about 10.30 to get there in time to picl up my ticket and then I should be back here for around 19.30 not a bad day out.

LIght at the end of the tunnel

What a week, first week back in work and what a tiring one Phew! The week when the Astronauts came to Gateshead. I'm glad to be back at work and starting to get back to normality! There have been some exciting things happening at work whilst I have been off and it will take some time to get to grips with what is going on but I will try my hardest to get back on track, the main thing is that I am back to work. On Friday morning I went to my second Physiotherepy appointment Lesley is very nice she said I had done really well so far but not to push it too far. It is OK she said not to go swimming as much as I was when I was off and that I could keep it for the weekends. She gave me an exercise to do which involved holding a towel round the back of me and going from side to side. SHe also let me loan a TENS touch machine to ease the pain which seems to work very well I am impressed - so much so that I think I will go out and buy my own. On Saturday Bodil and I just went for a couple of drinks in the Ouseburn Valley, very Bohemian it is now but it was really good to sample a couple of beers and be part of the event and be out just the two of us!
Sunday comes around all too soon and it is getting ready for work time again it is a long while since I had to do that :)

July brings joy!

After several months of being incapacitated and unable to exercise I am now officially allowed back to work and I start on Monday 6th July.
It has been a hard slog, I never for one minute believed I would be away from a job a really enjoy. I have fought hard to be able to get back and though the pain in the neck is still there it is manageable and I feel I can return to work. The irony of it is that the good weather is now here and I will not be able to enjoy it. The strange thing is that I have never been able to "enjoy" my incapacity as I have not been able move without pain etc.
I must admit that I am rather apprehensive about returning to work as I know things have changed but as I have not been involved, I do not know the new arrangements so it will be a steep learning curve to get back to work. By the same token I feel I must behave responsibly and take my time, if I do not feel well I need to come home. I also need to make sure I stick to an agreed phased return with my manager. I am sure it will be fascinating!

Family Day out

The end of June has come quite timely, as we all managed as a family to get to Burnley and tidy up my mums grave as it has been a long time since we had been there. I was quite surprised to find the grave reasonably tidy. The flowers we planted last year had come and gone, there was no evidence of the wreath that was laid at Christmas, it had probably decomposed. We bought a couple of rose plants which we placed on the grave and they looked really good. It was great to be all together as a family. We took our time to return to the North East via North Yorkshire and a pit stop at the White Bear in Masham (well you have to don't you!).

Now I was brought up in Burnley until the age of 19 when I moved away to college and very soon established myself away from the town. So it is strange to return to a town which has no real affiliation for me. Yes I see the buildings and memoirs flash through my mind of things I did as a child. I note the difference that has been made by inward investment but then I look at the new "University" buildings being built and see the stark contrast to the adjacent area of Stoneyholme and think that somewhere there is an imbalance but then what do I know I only visit the town occasionally. But then you suddenly "see" the buildings that are no longer there and think about the times in your youth. There is no doubt that Burnley is on the up (in my opinion it couldn't have got lower) but there is still a long way to go. It was noticeable looking at the town centre the contrast of the "Council" workers in their shirts and trousers having their lunch alongside the "Chavs" sitting there taking in the rays. I am not being judgmental either but the shirts would go back and do some work, the Chavs would not. I also tended to notice the amount of young girls pushing prams with babies and I jumped to the conclusion that the town must have an horrendous teenage pregnancy rate totally without justification because I didn't know how many of the girls were simply giving their mothers a rest and taking their baby sister or brother out to get the rays. There did seem however an lot of young couples around the place but then statistically I suppose there would be. Now all this seems negative, it isn't supposed to be, as I said who am I to comment on things. Our visit to Homebase introduced us to the most helpful welcoming and chatty checkout girl I have encountered for a long time, made our day!

The great beauty of the town has got to be its surroundings, which to be honest are stunning, the sight of Pendle Hill imposing its reassuring presence over the area is thought provoking and the wonderful countryside all encompassing the town is visually explosive but then I find my mind wandering back to the ordinary people of Burnley and asking how many have actually stepped outside the town in their lifetime, this question I can't answer! In two minutes you can leave the town and are instantly in a different world where the narrow streets and cream painted stone work of the terraces are left behind. I think the real impression of Burnley is a place where things have been constructed but in a Higgldy Piggldy fashion and they don't actually join up. Maybe it is me who remembers the town as a joined up whole where demarcation of buildings was invisible, maybe time will tell. Burnley FC staying up in the Premiership in 2009-10 will really help the town find its status, if only they can do it "Dream the Dream".

On the return journey we whooshed along the M62 across the Peninnes and to the North East via Bedale and back to explosive scenery and as stated above the taste of Theakston!

We rounded the day off with a Chinese take away which went down well with everybody so a good day was held by all!

When all around are losing there heads........

It seemed like that today. Mainly because of world affairs and affairs at home. It seems the world has gone mad but I really need to know somethings. What possesses people to threaten other people and oust them out of their own houses just because they are from another country even a newly born baby and young children. Tell me WHY! No you can't it is unexplainable, unbelievable, untenable and every other able you can think of! It seems that the Sectarian shift has moved to Racist dogma if I believed in God I would have a few choice words with him/her/it!

It seems I am in the grip of administration nightmare concerning my return to work and my papers are passing backwards and forwards. It is quite frustrating because I feel I could go back to work but I am being denied because of the red tape. I am sure it will sort it self out in the end but to what cost?

Enjoying riding my bicycle although not going very far 4-8Km and not every day but I am going to the swimming baths. These forms of exercise really kill me but I am persevering as best I can.
Youngest daughter has an interview for a job on Saturday, she did a really great job on her CV, in fact I was really impressed, she has suddenly grown up. GCSE's finished, Sixth Form and driving lessons looming, bring back My Little Pony and Barbie ( never thought I would say that!).

Now take Iran, what on earth is going on there! In such a short space of time ordinary people have reached the point of no return with the system that has dominated them for years and are now reacting in a revolutionary way. Now I don't condone the violence and the reaction to the violence no one should be killed or repressed for their views on politics and everyone should have there chance to make a differnce but if there has been flagrant misuse of power by the the leading group then it must step down or face the consequences and when you hear reports that footballers and even soldiers are wearing the opposition party colours then you just know there is a change coming. Please let this change be a political one whereby the will of the majority of the people is adhered to.

So to the people who are oppressed by anyone country rules, office rules, dictatorial rules I say Keep the Faith. Those who have a will to change can. As I said to my daughter when asked if she could be a television weather presenter I said that she could be anything she wanted to be. "What qualifications would you need" she said. " Well some idea of meteorology would probably be useful." I said. "What thats Geography isn't it? I hate geography it's as bad as History, I'll think of something else then!"

I wonder if there will ever be a time when all the peoples of the world will live in harmony and have no conflicts at least at country level. But if they did then eventually everyone would be tolerant of each others particular beliefs. I suppose we live in hope.

June update

I can't believe I have neglected my blog for so long I must be so busy! I wish! I am waiting to get back to work but I can't just go back I have to wait for the Occupational Health to get a doctor to assess me which is so frustrating you can't imagine.
Anyway I have started riding my bicycle and going swimming. It is really hurting but what else can I do I am waiting for a Physio appointment which isn't until the 24th June and I have to be assessed by a government doctor which will be on the 20th June so one way or another I should know something by the end of June I really hope so.

Premiership Football Unbelievable!

Well what a day slept in forgot my iPhone and my Nokia, bust my zip forgot painkillers! Could anything else go wrong???
NO! Wembley was brilliant! The atmosphere was electric! Burnley fans amazing! Burnley team totally on form in the zone and well what can you say Burnley 1 - Sheffield United 0 Only one place up for grabs and that has Burnley's name on it, they are in the Premiership! UK top football league!
We even made it back to Stansted to find the flight had been delayed by almost 90 minutes so we could have stayed for more celebrations.
The whole day from breakfast to diner in the airport was totally memorable. Very well worth going to London for the game and the atmosphere. Now look forward to life in the fast lane.

We're on the Wembley Way!

The last match of the season for Burnley against Sheffield United for a place in the Premiership!
I spent two days trying to get tickets but finally it paid off and I am going to see the match which is at Wembley It is very exciting as it will probably be the first and last time I will get to Wembley so a day worth remembering. It means up at five in the morning for a 7.00am flight :) but it will be a great day out in London

I will twitter the day so you will be able to follow what is going on!

Stay tune to find out what happens C'mon the Clarets!

CT Scan

Well! The doctor has said it was mostly wear and tear and the pain is due to the operation so thats that then, when can I return to work. I will put up with the pain as long as I can go back to work I am guessing I will never do Windsurfing again but hey never say never it has been a particularly crap year when all is said and done but at least I have a roof over my head, enough to eat and I am not being shot at or bombed so in the grand scale of things a I am positively radiant and glad to be alive.
I managed to put together an IKEA cupboard as I bought a cordless screwdriver/drill but it wasn't good enough so I have been back to day to change it for a more rugged type of screwdriver/drill you know the type of screwdriver/drill workmen have when they are working. SO now I am all geared up to finish the cupboard brilliant!
It's funny because doing all this I am still in pain but thinking well I have put up with this for a long time it is no different to the time before the operation and when I was in work at this time last year so I just have to get on with it. I am waiting for my boss to organise a staged return to work. Hopefull I will be back at the end of May. Yippee!

Space time continuum problem

Yep it has been a really quick week this week it is already Saturday and I can't remember half of what went on through it?

I finally got in touch with firstly my GP who has now filed in the form and it has been posted off to my employer (so another 4 week wait then)I do have to pay £15.00 for that pleasure.

Secondly my consultant has written the report on my neck he hasn't signed it yet but it will be in the post next week. Thankfully his miserable secretary read out the contents to me over the phone. Basically the pain I have in my arms and neck is a result of the surgery (hopefully it will go away soon) and the fact that my neck vertebrae have a lot of wear and tear so they are not going to operate further (well not yet anyway). So thats fine then I am now trying to negotiate my way back to work more for the money than anything else as half pay is crippling us. Good News, Burnley are in the final playoff against Sheffield United sad news I waited all morning in the online "waiting room" for tickets and got no where. Gerry and I have booked flights to the capital so we are still going to London with or what looks increasingly without tickets. We will just have a great day out in London have a meal and a few drinks watch the match in a pub and enjoy ourselves. I would have really loved to get into Wembley though, the atmosphere will be electric. I will Twitter my day so all will be saved including photos.

Maria had her Prom on Thursday she has officially left school and just needs to go in for her exams 2 of which RS and Maths 1 she has on Monday so she is up revising for them. She really enjoyed herself on Thursday and she looked fantastic all grown up with her hair specially designed and her dress and all the accessories including a tiara which she wore with pride. I feel myself welling up just writing this sniff, sniff! Maybe next week I will know when I can go back to work Hooray! Watch this space (blog)

Newcastle win must win Game!

What a fantastic win! Not I hasten to add a fantastic game but the result was what was needed. Now if they can go on and win the next two they will stay up.

 

Speaking all things football, tonight Burnley play the second leg of a play off game against Reading, a win would put them into the play off final against arch enemies Sheffield United to be played at Wembley.

Still no joy at the Doctors but I do have a telephone appointment at 12 with my GP so lets see what happens there then.

Soap Box Rant

I'm at it again, having had such a good day today getting lots of reading in and feeling good in my neck and my arms but there is always something isn't there? Well I'm back to doctors. I need the doctor to fill out a form so that I can claim mortgage relief for the time I have been off, now they won't pay out until the form has been sent in. It needs to be filled in by the doctor then my employer and then I have to fill something in. So I thought since my filled in bit includes sensitive information I concluded that I would go in the order Doctor, employer, self, makes sense. Well 3 weeks ago I took the form to the doctors to speed up the process, the doctors do not see this activity as an important activity and to be fair their job is dealing with sick people but they are asking to be paid for this task but how long should it take. An admin person could do this from the records and then give it to the doctor to sign. Now the doctors do not see this as a priority but for someone who has lost half their monthly income and can't do anything until the form is signed and returned  it is a priority. Phew! I feel better now! I would feel even better if I had the form so that I could send it to my employer. Maybe next week then!

Bank Holiday Weekend

Well the May Bank Holiday is here and yet again I find myself at a loose end not doing anything.I wish my neck was better as I would really get to work on things around the house or is that just my excuse now for not doing anything.

 I have read quite a lot and the more I read the more I identify books that I should have read over my life time and I think it is all too late and I will never be able to understand the great thinkers and philosophers because they always refer to other peoples work that I haven't yet written so I need to read their work before I really understand what they are saying it is like having a great long list of books to read and they are in chronological order but you don't know the order and you only find that there is a book before the one you are reading when you are actually reading it so you go to that book and the same again. Even starting with say the bible isn't enough because the bible does not refer you to the next book or even going back to the first book ever written as the same applies there as it would because the next book isn't written yet if you see what I mean so the list of unwritten books goes on and on and on and it gets depressing and then the sun comes out and everything is fine. 

We have a birthday party to go to this afternoon so it should be a time to discuss the weekend and the football and whether or if Newcastle can survive (it's looking very grim for the 'toon') and talking about the the fact that Burnley are in the play offs in the Championship and can they beat Reading and then go further? Oh! what a fine day it will be if the rain stays away. I am still desperate to get back to work I just need to organise it with my manager to see about a phased way back in that will be great as I am really going berserk in the house. I have lots ti do as well I would love to get started on my Dissertation now that the survey is underway I am a little disappointed with the response rate mind you so far only about 30 have replied and that is from 6 different authorities still I suppose there is time yet. I need to start getting something written now so that it is not all to do next year because things will be hectic next year and I will be stuck for time. I am going to make a really stern effort to begin this next week.I know that as soon as I get my introduction down I will be able to write the rest and it will start to flow as long as I break up the tasks into small bites that I can handle so with that resolution passed I will go and enjoy the rest of my day knowing that the introduction to my research dissertation will start tomorrow Hooray! I love it when it all comes together.

Hospital Season Ticket

Today was Hospital day Maria with her MRI Consultant results, me with my CT Scan. Maria's consultant was running really late so I managed to get my scan done 30 mins early so I thought we were onto a winner. No such luck we didn't get out the hospital until 14.00. 3 hours after the initial appointment time. Anyway things looking good for Maria, looks like she don't have epilepsy but she needs to see another consultant to see why these episodes are happening it could be panic related after all and it could be psychological, anyway the consultant said he would sort all that out and arrange an appointment with the guy from before. Brilliant! I drove today hurt like mad but I think I ned to get used to doing things even if they hurt so I can get back to work. And on that note I finally got a claim form from my "Government backed" mortgage company in fact not 1 but 3  wonderful eh! Anyway I took it last week to my doctors for filling in etc and was told it could take some time as the doctors don't see this a priority. Well to me it is a priority and also I am going to have to pay to have the thing done anyway so where is the customer service in that. Now I know that doctors are there to treat patients etc. but they are getting a fee. It like going to a solicitor and saying you want a letter sent and they say yes I'll charge you but I'll do it whenever I can its not my priority.  I'd like some vegetables please you ask at your local shop and the salesperson says yes I'll get them when I'm ready to do that its not my priority  and Oh! by the way that will be £7.92!  The claim cannot progress until the doctor signs it then it goes to my employer then I have to send it off to the claims company who I am sure will not want to pay anything out if they can possibly help it so they will take their time meanwhile I am on half pay and trying to make ends meet good eh! When I phoned the doctors the person I spoke to was very good and said she would do what she had to do to get the form filled in. That's Ok then!

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

I have just finished watching Spiral in my iPhone a rerun of the series first shown in 2006 I think by BBC 4. I remember watching the first couple last year and thinking WOW! this is great but then they put these things on so late that I forget I have seen them, so thank you BBC for the re run and thank you iplayer and iPhone for the ability to see them again when I am ready to do so. That is what technology is about, getting what you need when you want it and the iPhone and I dare say other new mobiles deliver. I now do not know what I would do Communication wise if I didn't have my mobile. I am going out for a walk shortly and I will take my iPhone with me to log where I have been and how long it takes me so that I can put it up on the web to make sure  am getting some exercise so that I don't put any more weight on  ( it isn't working by the way). So even by looking at Spiral made circa 2005 and looking at say Wire you see directly the use of mobile technology.

Now having text my daughter (up stairs revising) to ask what time we should go for a walk I have half an hour to get ready great this comms thing! As I said Lazy Sunday afternoon. 

St George's Day

Thursday came and went I thought it was Wednesday so I didn't really do anything about celebrating this day as most people in England it comes and it goes and we talk of making it a holiday and celebrating all that is good about this country and then we are too late and so we wait until next year and the same thing again!
We could take a leaf out of the St Patrick's day celebrations. Firstly find a brewery to sponsor the day a good honest English brewery. Aah! we hit the first snag there isn't one. OK then lets look to our Englishness (like the Irishness) well do we go down the Morris dance route or the National Front route (read their policy statements and they refer to the "British" the "English" but who are these people surely not just white working class but all people who live and can vote in this country). Do we celebrate the Cornish pasty or the Stotty cake. You see the problem there is no unifying trait that says English there is just a mish mash of local and regional variations. So what do we do? Well we forget about it until next year and the debate will start again. When all is said and done we don't care anything about the religious status of the Patron Saints anyway we just want an excuse to have a good time and for that you don't need any saints especially a Roman soldier from Turkey. Its that bit of everything again!

Consultants News

Well what a hectic day MRI scan in the morning and then back for the Doctors report in the afternoon. Good thing is that he said I can begin exercise again swimming, bicycle rides and driving as long as it doesn't hurt. That will be the day! Anyway I got the green light. I then told him about the aftercare ( or lack of it ) and he said he had produced something that was going through committee stage at the moment so watch this space! 

I am not planning to go back to hospital to see if it has been implemented! Anyway just got side tracked sorting twitter stuff and "Twanalyse" links. So the top and bottom of it is that I have to go for a CT Scan

. 

He reckons (the consultant ) that some people develop further symptoms by virtue of the fact that they are our into certain positions in surgery which irritate the other vertebras and when he looked at my MRI scan he said there were vertebras 4,5,6 which could have damage done to them. So he said he would order a CT scan now I was thinking Oh! no! not to wait another 17 weeks for that but he just gave me a card and I went to the appointments desk and she said for me to sit down and she would come with the diary. So I sat down thinking yeah! 3 months next Wednesday. SHe came and said she apologised for not being able to get me in this week but would next Wednesday do. Well I nearly bit her hand off (metaphorically speaking of course). So Next Wednesday 12.15 be there or be square as they say.  After that I can negotiate a phased return to work. Normality here we come!

Season tickets for the hospital

Schools begin again tomorrow, well most schools the catholic ones have another week so not all schools are open therefore the roads will anly be partially crowded. Maria will not be there anway as she has her MRI scan for Epilepsy in the morning and then I have my long awaited appointment with the consultant who carried out my operation. Hopefully I will know more about what is going on. Things like how long will the pain last and can I do exercise yet as the pounds pile on.
Bodil had a party for her birthday everyone enjoyed themselves and the food was great, lots of it.
Louise goes back to Uni tomorrow, I will miss her she has been great these past 10 days. This was the weekend that the "TurfLodge Clarets" were to go to Burnley to watch the Sheffield United game but unfortunatley Sky made them an offer they couldn't refuse and they changed the game to Monday so road trip off until next year shame as I was really looking forward to it and to visit my mums grave to tidy it up and put flowers on it. We will get there another time.

Post Easter

Well that is that! Easter over and the summer to look forward to. Bodil's bash didn't go ahead as Maria had an episode so we cancelled then later she woke up and was fine. Its strange how these things effect you, I am now inwardly worried when she goes out and I little concerned when she doesn't contact me through the day but as she says life goes on and she isn't going to let a little epilepsy change her life. The get together didn't happen but we all met on Easter Monday at St Gabriel's and had a great time especially around the Brazier getting smoke all over our clothes. I don't know what it is about fires but they are very hypnotic and peaceful I could have stared at the brazier for ever watching the ashes change and the reaction of the fire to a new lump of tree very calming I thought. The down side is having to wash our clothes now because they smell. The highlight of the weekend was going to the Sage to see the Harald Haugaard Trio what a performance and the CD is even better (yes I bought a CD but only for the girls I have downloaded it to my itunes). Louise had me watch Calamity Jane! I had forgotten what a great film it was and the songs just stay with you even after the film ends

Online Music and other things!

I caused a stir in the household by suggesting we get all the CD's on itunes and then buy no more just download them and while we are at it why not do the same with videos and DVD's. Mutiny was the cry and I even went as far as saying we could read books online all of which I am OK with even to my surprise the books. This from someone who has cherished books all his life and loves reading them but I do more reading on line nowadays I am just thinking of the space it would save in the house. The thinking behind all this has been Spotify. At least no worries about copyright so therefore the musicians are not losing out (well we will wait and see). I downloaded this app and was blown away by all the artists I could listen to. I just hope the royalties do go to the musicians?? Writing this though I have resorted to using my iphone and playing the music I know I have paid for. I just don't think the majority of people will bother an iota but once there is no music being produced anymore as it is not profitable then we will lament the online downloaders who didn't pay.

Louise is coming home for Easter tomorrow, that will be funny as she has really established her self at Uni so home is less "home " than it was in September. I hope she copes, I am sure she will. My neck still hurts and I am still vexed at the amount of information I was given on what to expect but as Bodil says there is only 2 weeks to go before I see the consultant. I am really going to go to town on him - no I am not he has done a good job probably its just I don't know what to expect now that I am 3 Months post op still getting dizzy spells and aching in my neck and arms. I'll shut up now.

Maria had a "sleep deprived EEG" yesterday the Nurse was brilliant in setting her (and me) at ease, we won't get the results for ages though until she sees the consultant in June and before that she has to have an MRI scan of the brain. Soon we will know and all will be well once they have identified what the problem is and they prescribe the correct medicine. The question of the day was? What is an EMG? SORTED!

Lounging in the sun. I wish!

What a great start to April this year sunny days but cold winds but no rain but then today the weather changed and here we are waiting for the rain to come. What is it about the English that makes them so hung up about the weather. I suppose it is a conversation opener but then so is " where did you get that jacket is looks really good on you".

So the g20 circus is over and the country can get back to doing what it was doing before and wait for the promises to not appear or appear in a diluted form. Is this the cynic in me coming out. Well I don't agree with the way the RBS has handled themselves and I really don't agree with former CEO getting extortionate amounts of pension money but by the same token I do not go and smash the RBS windows and enter the bank and basically commit a looting offence. I wish someone would tell me where it says a human being can be so angry and upset with what an institution has done that it is acceptable for them to resort to that level of destruction. I bet there is no one that can. It is just mindless destruction in the name of something else. Did the people who did these acts get arrested I think not! I take that back, in the interests of making sure what I say is correct I have searched the news sites and yes they were arrested or at least some of them were. But yet again the reason for the fact they put windows in at the bank was that one "came from an unconventional background, having left school at 13 and living an itinerant lifestyle at a series of protest sites, including a long-established roads demonstration in Edinburgh." Guardian, so that's OK then! And talking of the Guardian and the question Nick Robinson asked of the USA President, yes I agree he did stumble over his words his speech writers were unable to come to his aid and not only on that occasion. As watched throughout the sessions he answered questions off the cuff and as you or I may well do paused for thought and errred and ummed but at least he was approachable he has a good style whether this does translate into an active determined style to change the world we will have to see, I am not a following type of person but he does walk the walk, I'm just not too sure we walks the walk he maybe toddles the toddle at the moment.
The big event of the week has gone and the second big event of the week is happening today. No now the Burnley Darby game although that is important, but the Newcastle United soap opera. Gosh you couldn't script this saga any better what a boost to the town (toon) what a media frenzy, what a talking point. Just wait until Saturday evening and then see what is being talked about. I hope that they stay up I hope Alan makes a name for himself I hope that Burnley meet them either in the Championship or in the Premiership. Nuff said! Wait for the next exciting installment of the United story!
And just on a final note if there was any doubt now about my decision to reject religion it has been bolstered by the shocking video of a 17 year old girl being publicly flogged by the Taliban. What an disgrace that these people hide behind religious tradition to justify their actions. I could put a like to the video on here but as a mark of respect to the poor girl I will not. Searching the net will find it. And we wonder why the world is in such a mess. I will be impossible to change peoples opinion because they carry out their actions on behalf of a spiritual presence what a load of bullshit! They carry out these acts because they like it and they want to show people they are in control. Abhorrent is too short a word! Now the sun comes out I want it to rain to sympathise with my anger. There's never an RBS bank to hand when you need one!

Tuesday the end of March

I can't believe it is the end of March, it has been so long since I was at work that I feel a little apprehensive about when I go back which hope will be soon!
On Saturday I went to Edinburgh as it was a friends birthday, he was revisiting the City after having his Stag Night there 10 years previously. We marvelled at the architecture of the Cafe Royal if you have never been then you have missed out it is truly remarkable. We went for lunch at a lovely vegetarian place called Hendersons The staff very very friendly and informative answering the questions of the people who were not au fait with vegetarian food.
The trip back was eventful and informative. We sat next to a couple and father of the man from Iraq. It is amazing that talking to actual people gives you a better understanding of what is happening in that country. Very appropriate today as Britain hands over to the Iraqi army and begins it long awaited withdrawal from the country. The end of the day I was really hurting in my neck and I hope I have not done any damage, I am being so careful but do not want to just sit in the house all day and not move. My walking is being seriously curtailed as I have developed a problem with my leg it really hurts after about 1Km the doctors doesn't think it is DVT but my ankles are swollen and this is something I have never had. I have put on about 15kg since September 2008 and I am getting worried I do not eat fatty foods and am careful not to eat in between but getting now real exercise is a worry shame the health personnel don't seem to share my worry but that is another story. I am recording my workouts on the MapMyRide which is at least keeping me focussed. I can't wait to get back to work!

Friday Lunch

Hey Had a great day today, went to the docs as I had a raging pain in my leg I of course thought it was DVT and so the Doc took some blood and said he thought it was probably just a muscle strain would you believe it the only exercise I can do and I go and strain a muscle!!!!!!
Anyway I met up with my mate Gerry and we went into town and had a lovely lunch at the Olive and Bean very good relaxed atmosphere loved the big farmhouse kitchen table. We then did M&S and Gerry managed to buy a jacket in the sale I couldn't find one to fit but the reductions were great £99 down to £25 :) We wander lonely as a cloud until the Bachus beckoned and a pint of Draught Peroni only place I know that sells it. That was enough so back home and rest what a day feel really good.

Mothers Day

Well this comes once a year and it is here this year. I remember my mother and wish for her to still be alive but I realised long ago that some things are just not possible and just get on with it now. It is good to see the girls celebrate this day with their mother and although Louise is not at home she is still part of things and she telephoned to say happy Mday. Maria did well creating a montage of photos and I downloaded Jim Reeves fro her and made an A4 page with picture and tracks on. I have kept out of the way as I know I am getting to her so best to just lay low and keep quiet hence the blog. I am listening to Jewel at the moment forgot how good she is well a day! I don't know whether I should have bought flowers or not, in the end I didn't, perhaps I made the wrong choice! Neck pain still here so what's new. I am not going to go one about it but I am so missing going to work it is crazy. It goes to show that you need things to do and again hence the blog. That's enough now I don't even know what has go on in the world today I spent an inordinate amount of time You Tubing Flight of the Condors and swimming under water now where does that go I need to surf more to become conversant with what the YOOF of today are talking about and looking at and contributing to.  Forgot how  good Foolish Games from Jewel was excellent.  Enough enough!

Week 7 post op

Still got pain in my neck and have been told that I am not to do exercise until the consultant tells me it is OK no lifting or strenuous work including driving. So that is me told. My allegiances were torn last night between Manchester City and Aalborg as Bodil is Danish what a boring game until the last 10 minutes. I feel sorry for Aalborg as they did work hard to get back into the game it would have been a better game if they had done this earlier, maybe next year they wil do even better.

Absence makes the heart grow...............

Strange title you might think but Maria my youngest daughter (16) has just got scan results back from an EEG which hint at a problem in the left temporal lobe which may be causing her to have seizures. Now she has been having incidents for coming up to 3 years but this was put down to panic attacks this is week three and she has had 5 so far the last one was totally different from the rest as she began screaming at the top of her voice and holding her head even biting one of her friends. Although I wasn't there, I heard her screaming as her friend telephoned to say she had phoned for an ambulance. If it is confirmed as epilepsy then we will have to live with that and cope accordingly. This year is an important year for her but we have stressed that exams can be taken at anytime, health is far more important. I also finally talked to the Practice Nurse regarding my neck and she basically said under no condition lift anything or do any exercise other than walking until I have my appointment at the end of April. This has somewhat scuppered my idea of getting back to work sooner than expected. To be honest it has shocked me a bit as I suppose I have just thought of the operation as something to be done and then get on with things the way they were, it seems that is not the case. So I will do what I am told and only walk for exercise and keep taking the tablets until told otherwise. Cervical Discectomy

Belonging to a Religious philosophy

When I went for my neck operation I had to fill in a variety of forms and answer a lot of questions which were personal. I was asked what religion I was and I answered (for the first time ever) NONE. Now this may not be significant to most people but for me it was totally significant because I am the typical Irish Roman Catholic of the 1950's where the Church ruled with a mighty hand and no one questioned its authority. I was born out of wedlock as they say and although I missed certain things growing up like how to put a tie on correctly and how to effectively shave I don't think I missed out on much. My mother and Grandmother both matriarchs in their own way saw to that and I had a good upbringing with not much money. However I was invested into the church, I was an Alter-boy, I went on retreat to the priesthood (thankfully they saw sense), and I was until college devout. When I was married ( in a Lutheran church by a female priest) and had a family I wanted my children brought up as Catholics and that was what happened. I attended church I taught in a Catholic school and I was involved very much in the activities of the church including festivals and certain rites within the church. 

Over the years though my disillusionment  grew and I began to really question what religion (any religion) was about and came to the conclusion that it was all about power over the masses and that no religious doctrine was true. I suppose I am an Atheist as I do not believe any religion has the truth only dogma but I do not resent people who believe and are devout in their religious practices. What I do resent is the "holier than thou" attitude of fundamentalists who would have you change your views to fit with theirs and here I just think of the early Christians working in missions to change the ancestral religions of indigenous  people. I ask how could they if not to maintain power over the people and subjugate them to terror until they changed their belief systems. If that is what a god wants then I am not a follower. Now there are those who say that god is good and that they have been helped by him/her/it well if they belief that then so be it but it would be nice to be able to hold beliefs contrary to the populous and thereby be out of the power struggle. This brings me to my point, there is a movement which started as a joke but has turned into a tidal wave of support of the idea of "de-baptism"  What I can't understand is that for those who do not want to be baptized why they have to have an official note saying they are not baptised. If they don't believe then their non believing should be proof enough, it is like they want permission to not belong. For me it is enough that I have questioned the validity of religion and decided that it is not for me. I am not a different person as far as my relationships with others are concerned but I am a totally different person within myself as I do not have to adhere to petty dogma designed to control the way I think. This is surely a good thing. My family are as dear to me as they have always been and I have not thrown off the shackles of confinement and behaved in a totally non rational way I have just carried on doing what I do in the way I have always done it minus the influence of religion or as much as I can possibly do this having been influenced for a life time by its conventions. I do not adhere to hypocrisy I merely try to do the best I can for those who need it and hope that they will do the same for me.

The following link started all this

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7941817.stm

6th Week Post Op

Well this is the start of the sixth week after my neck operation. I am sure that the recovery is underway but I am still getting lots of pain and I have not yet got full mobility in my arms which is worrying. After talking to friends I rang the hospital to talk over what my options were vis a vis doing any exercises so that I am able to return to work. I rang on Thursday, the nurse did not ring back I rang on Friday and the Nurse has not rung back so I am now having to wait until Monday to get something back from them. All I want to know is: Is the pain I am feeling normal? Is it normal to be dizzy so long after the operation? What can I do to stop gaining weight in terms of exercise? It is this latter point that is getting me as I want to be windsurfing again and feel frustrated. I really want to be back to work as soon as I can but I do not want to do anything that will jeopardise my getting back to work. I will just have to grin and bear it I suppose.

Week 5 Post Op

Well this is the week that all things should happen! It doesn't feel like it though, I have pain across my shoulders and still the pain down the arms. I wish it was sorted.
I am just listening to the Arsenal - Burnley game and wondering if Burnley can win. It doesn't look like it as Arsenal have just scored a goal :( It could be a winner and see the last of Burnley in the FA Cup. I am sure it will be sorted at some point I can still hope Burnley can do the business.
I am really missing work and I have been pondering going back and getting into the swing of things but I am really unsure I would hate to get back to work and find that I had done it too early and end up being off again. I am sure they are coping brilliantly without me but I would still like to be back in the thick of things.

Day after yesterday

I spent this morning updating the Dell laptop with Microsoft updates and using defraggler to make sure everything was in its place. I don't understand my difficulty with my laptop it seems to not display FIrefox when you click on it then I tried to download firefox and it says there is a version running but it is not in the task manger so I don't know then when you shutdown it asks if you want to end firefox, it is really strange and I panicked because all my bookmarks are on firefox. I have now inported them into Safari which seems to work well and into Google Chrome I am taking no chances with this stuff. I have been out for a short walk I hope to be able to catch some football as the University has sports afternoon on Wednesday but I was too early they were only just setting up and kicking around, some of the players looked really good. I am three says into my weight loss regime I was upset that I had gained 4 Kilos so I now weigh 97 Kilos which is way too much and my BMI makes me officially overweight something I have never been in my life so I am really watching what I eat. So usually Bran flakes and banana for breakfast, egg on rye for dinner except today I had some left over rice and carrots from last night so I put a little sunflower in the pan and stir fried them together and I used the sauce what was left just to bind it and tonight I will have something easy. then not in between meal snacks if I do feel hungry I have bought some dried raisins and currents so no fat there and If I really want something there are crumpets in the cupboard. I have cut out white or even brown sliced bread so far and it has not been hard I have not had any chocolate or peanut butter and I have not touched any bisquits not that I did before but occasionally I would put the spread on bread or have a couple of biccys as you do but no more. I am aching to get doing more excerise but a do not want to do anything I shouldn't swimming and bike riding would be ideal I am sure but both put a strain on the neck so I'd better just stick to walking.

3 weeks 2 days post op Buses and Firefox and MERITS

It has been quite a bit now since the op and I am still having trouble with my arms. I still get the same pains, I can move my neck to a point and then it hits a "bollard" and that is it. I really hope this state of play sorts it self out as the Hospital said by week 6.

I went for a long walk to day firstly to post some letters but I went a long way around. Then I read that one of my module assignments had come back and was ready to pick up. As I also needed to take a library book

back I thought I would go into town.

I wasn't going to walk in but as I was 20 metres from the bus stop it arrived and as I got 5 metres from the stop it departed so I walked to the main road into town and then decided to walk into the University.

I had my big coat on and a fleece and although it was cold outside I was really warm in fact I will have to have a breathable fleece as I was really sweating.

So I dropped the book off and went to the Faculty building to get my assignment. What a surprise I got when I read it, 67% that is really great as I had thought I had misunderstood a lot of what had been talked about but that is a merit and 3% short of a distinction considering I was incapasitated for most of the time at lectures I think that was brilliant I am so proud of myself, I didn't have anyone to share the moment with so I will wait til I get home to celebrate. I am using Google Chrome to publish this post and I am struggling on how toreduce the picture size. Also Firefox is playing up as I can't load up the browser I am also struggling with elements of the browser, I am not happy with Version 3

Recovery, Pain management and Weight gain

Woke up this morning after having had a great time at a friends house to see the England - Ireland rugby game ( less said the better)! Good company few drinks and little pain. The last time I had been to the house I lasted just over an hour before getting a taxi home because of the pain.
The conversation was good the company was good the laughs were excellent.
Now comes the downer, I had to resort to the dodgy pain killers which literally mess with my head but they do ease the pain. What could have caused it I don't know, had I slept in a strange position, the pain in the arms was back the numbness in the hands was back the pain across the shoulders was back! Just goes to show you can't take anything for granted. I have managed to float through the morning now with minimum pain but a feeling of strangeness which I don't like.
My local football team Newcastle upon Tyne have been beaten and I chose today to seriously cut down on my food intake so all in all not a good day.
I now weigh 95 kilos which has increased of late from 90 Kilos and I have decided to do something about it. I must admit I do put this rise down to my inactivity due to my slipped disc operation although I do tend to go for a walk each day. As a vegetarian I think I eat a minimal amount of fat. I have bran or porridge for breakfast with semi skimmed milk. I would eat cheese on toast for lunch or a boiled or fried egg. For dinner it will be some sort of pasta with a vegetarian sauce or veggie sausage and oven chips. Through the week I would have one night fried potatoes and mackeral or tomato soup. So I don't think I am gorging myself into oblivion but the fact remains I have put on weight and I know I have so I am now resigned to eating no bread but to have rye bread instead and to eat dried fruit if I need a snack and eat crumpets so I should cut the weight gain as long as I watch what I put on them :) My BMI has just shocked me as I scored 29.3 which means I am officially overweight so the new regime I am considering is worthwhile I am going to do this using Information Communication Technology (ICT) to chart my process so it will give me something to aim for and allow me to increase my ICT skills. That's what they call a "wake up call"

Start of 4 week post op and ELEPHANTS!

Today is the start of the 4th week after my operation and I can feel a difference. However I am getting really bad pains across my shoulders. I would like to say that I was pain free but I am not. It puts it into perspective though when you see the bravery on the television news of a child who was scalded and had 27% damage now looking forward to having another skin operation to clear up the rest of her forehead in preparation for going to secondary school makes me feel like a fraud. The youngest daughter had a couple of turns this week which is worrying but one doctor has discharged her in favour of the Pediatric Consultant so I suppose that is a good thing we have now just to wait for the EEG results in a couple of weeks.

Elephants back in the Circus!

I posted a Twitter about Elephants in a circus. What is Nottinghamshire Local Authority thinking about? I thought we had stopped all that. I don't like and never did like the circus in the first place. I have been once as a child and hated it I could appreciate the tumblers and the clowns, I looked in awe at the high wire acts although I remember getting frustrated as they bowed and curtsied in between stunts all the time. It seemed to take ages for them to get on to the next thing. I suspect this was all part of their getting ready but it has stuck with me. However I was never taken with the animals. I felt sorry for the chimps having to behave like us and perform on command. I did not the the point and still do not see the point of a man "taming a lion" a lion is wild for goodness sake it is not a pet (tell that to some Hollywood types) and as for the Elephants I just looked in their eyes and saw what I thought was shear boredom and cynicism. I thought what a shame, then I looked and thought why do they put up with it they are far bigger and stronger than a person with a red coat or swimsuit with a whip yet they let themselves be humiliated by them. I suspected they were traumatised and had been "brainwashed" into doing these things for the sport of the human onlookers (the sophisticated set). What level of depravity do we stoop if we go and pay to watch this. I would rather stay at home and watch elephants in their own environment in the wild on television than pay to go and see them being humiliated in this way, and we are the "intelligent" species.
Take a look at the things we "intelligent" people do to elephants
Click here to see how we make them do things
Nottingham should be ashamed Click here
I saw a quote saying that the "British people" wanted to see this type of thing. Well I am sure in days gone by there was nothing better than a good public hanging that the great British people wanted to see, I don't see many towns holding this event of late.
Animals are part of the whole eco system of the world not the slaves of those who choose to master them STOP IT!

Week three post op

Today hasn't started so well. have still pain right across my back and down my arms, so I resorted to taking a couple of codeine which I really don't like 1. They make me spaced out 2. I have to eat more bran and eat oranges ( for obvious reasons) So writing this I could well fall asleep. I am clinging to the words of the nurse last week who said all this was normal (right, don't be a wimp so I won't). The day also started badly as younger daughter had a fainting fit again she is under the consultant and last week we went for an EEG she sees the doctor in March but she is having these things regularly so it is a bit worrying.We have been trying to find a trend and there seems to be none although she did spend a lot of time on the computer yesterday which could have an effect but then other times she hasn't so I don't know maybe it is something she will grow out of???? It is possible she could have a mild form of epilepsy (just my opinion) but I am sure the doctors will sort it out. This is the second time a consultant has looked at her as I wasn't happy with what the first one ws saying so I asked for a second opinion. She is exhausted now and asleep in bed. I feel for her as this year is the year she needs to concentrate on exams GCSE's and she is desperate to get into 6th Form so fingers crossed!

Post Op Info

I rang the hospital and spoke with a nurse who told me that with the level of surgery I had undergone, the result would be more pain as the doctor had moved things and disturbed tissue etc. I should have more pain for about 4 weeks and then after 6 to 8 weeks I should see signs of recovery. The feeling in my throat of swallowing a golf ball was normal and would go. The nerve pains in my arms would also subside I just had to be patient :) So I can probably expect to be wind surfing maybe late in the season I expect by then that global warming will have cancelled out the wind for the rest of the year :( There is a great video of the operation I underwent on http://www.or-live.com/PinnacleHealth/2547/ it is really fascinating to see this (not for the squeamish mind)
I will be able to get back to work in the Summer term I think which is really good as we have a conference which I do not want to miss.

First Week post Op

Well it has been a pretty topsy turvy week. I really wanted my neck and arms to be pain free but I suppose I was just living in cloud cuckoo land because it has obviously got to hurt after such an operation, the tissues and muscles need to get back to where they were etc etc. so thinking about it I just have to resign myself to the fact that invasive operations don't quickly turn you around in a week there are conditions.
I would like t know more about the post operative situation though. How much am I supposed to do? I have been out walking and that has had an effect on my neck making it hurt but I am not going to give that up as it is my only form of exercise.Now that my wound has healed well almost. The scar looks to be healing quite nicely though!
Can I go for a swim, I know myself that it is not possible yet my neck is aching too much but when will that be a possibility? I was given no advice other than "ring us if you need to" but its like disturbing the nurses when they are overstretched as it is. I have got a sick note for 8 weeks from my doctor so I know it will take a while I just want to be doing something in the mean time but I don't what. I have started reading books unrelated to work I have just finished Twelfth Night, I had forgotten what a good read it was I really got into it. I was reading the Penquin classic which give a preamble and explanation of the text so all that I learned at school started to come back to me. Strange but it also got me thinking about the peole who were in my class than things I did at school when I was younger. Tyring to remember peoples names is a killer, in your minds eye you can see their faces even hear there voices but will they reveal their names... not likely. I am not getting a very good nights sleep even though the tablets are supposed to make you sleepy but then I am trying to remeber everyones name that I have ever encountered. I am sleeping sat up in bed as I am afraid of and unable to lay with my head on the pillow as normal, I suppose it means I am snoring less I don't know Bodil has not said if it has helped or not. I must say it has helped not haveung the neck brace on I could even hear I was snoring with that on! It being half term Maria was allowed to sleepover at a friends house one night has turned into three so I have not seen her all weekend. She deserves to enjoy her self as she seems to be working really hard towards her GCSE's and she is really very helpful around the house and I love her to bits but I do miss her when she is not here. I don't know what it will be like when she goes to University, I didn't think I would miss Louise but I really do eve though I know she is making her way in life and we encouraged her to do so I still miss her. Well my neck is aching still so I am going to go and rest it. First week over and getting better slowly I think (hope) look for ward to week two. Maybe England can manage a win (both football and Rugby)!

Snowing

We have heard all week about the state of the nation as far as the snow goes and how awful it has been. But here in the North East it hasn't been too bad. Until today that is, the snow has been coming down quite incessantly all morning and it is looking like it will stay with us so it could be a white snowy day today.

Reality Check!

So I am sat here thinking that every new ache or pain is something worse than before and wondering why I have the pains and worrying that the operation was not successful. I go for a walk, I feel dizzy but that is to be expected. The wind blows and I imagine myself on the water in charge of a windsurfer, pulling in and gliding over the water. The sun is in my face, I struggle to cross the road and I exit into the park, the sun is strong but the frosty dew is still visable on the grass and the fence. The lake is almost part of the land, it is surreal to see a couple of swans standing together on the lake having a chat. I feel better now the aches are not there anymore for now and I head back to home feeling I could walk for ages but knowing this is the first time out since the operation, then I tell myself not to be so stupid, the operation is over the wound is healing, lets just get on with it quickly, run, jump, throw your neck in the air turn it left and right. All this is in my head you understand. I return home felling good feeling that the operation was not significant and wondering when can I return to work. I answer emails and click on an email on behalf of the head of the Faculty at the University Rosie. I click to open thinking that it is something to do with my deferral and I have missed out an important part of the form. My stomach turns when I read that she has died suddenly after undergoing a routine operation. Died, I only emailed her a couple of weeks previously to say good luck. Died, I only talked to her last semester concerning my neck and she her knees. Died, I only talked to other lecturers about how she was lucky to get in and have her operation done so quickly. I only met her once, but I will remember her for ever. Dr. Rosie Turner-Bissett.

So that was that!

Saturday morning came along and I was rather apprehensive, I had experienced weird dreams about dying and surgeons finding nasty things in my neck but eventually I awoke. I had my plan ready, shower, check my bag, check my letter, check my reading material (Tommy Cooper Biography) all ready. Gerry my friend arrived at about 7.20 and had a cup of tea, then we set off with my neck giving me pain as usual over the bumps. I arrived at the Ward and was met and settled into my bed area I would be on second the usual checks were done Blood pressure, MRSA the usual questions were asked both by the nurse and the anesthetist. I was just about to get into my book when I was told to get robed up as I was the first on! What a relief, I managed to get through the robing quite well by tying the threads and then slipping into them over the head, I managed to place my rather fetching white tights on the wrong legs but what the hell they were on and then I was wheeled down to the operating theatre. I saw the surgeon and spent a couple of minutes talking football with the assistant anesthetist a Cambridge United supporter, then I was given a needle in the back of the hand and off to sleep.
Now I think that I don't do anesthetic very well because when I awoke I was I bit confused and rather queasy, so much so that once they had decided to move us from our lovely 4 bed ward to a 10 bed ward I thought I was going to be sick but they shoved something into my hand needle and that was sorted.
Now I realise that the move was necessary from their point of view but I couldn't have been more depressed. The noise and the bustle of the ward was very disconcerting. This wasn't helped by the machine which was working the air in and out of the boots they had placed on me to avoid getting another Blood Clot which was somehow serenely out of sync with anything you could imagine. The staff were still very kindly but they had a lot to do and the fact that mobile phones were allowed was not a positive adventure. Welcome though they are they should be scrutinised so that there are rules of engagement eg silent or vibrate mode only and an acceptance that the recipient of the call has no need to shout out at the top of their voice. Unfortunately the nursing staff had not been given guidelines and as such were at a loss to intervene and ask people to adhere to a non existent rule regime, Shame that, as getting to sleep would have been easier and even to the fact of waking someone up to stop their snoring would have been helpful rather than just agreeing that the noise was unbearable. The upshot however was that the following day (Sunday) I was well enough to go home I had passed water, been on my feet and had good blood pressure results One nurse suggested I stay another night to to make sure because I had experienced a blood clot before but after weighing up the pros and cons I decided to come home. Wife and youngest daughter appeared at 14.30 and by 16.30 I was walking down the street to get into Gerry's (the other one) car to be taken home. What a relief!

It is now Tuesday and I am feeling OK the pain I have is different from the nerve pain I had before, this pain is more like the pain of surgery and in my throat I have difficulty swallowing but that is to be expected as they move the windpipe out he way to get to the disc. I have a hole in my neck I don't know how big as it has a plaster on but the nurse who dressed it said it looked good and the surgeon said he was happy with what he had done so it is all systems go to get better. I am awaiting the district nurse to arrive sometime this week to change the dressing and I will ask her what exercise I can do as I want to get back to fitness again and lose some weight firstly so I can get into my wet suit and secondly so the the board doesn't sink when launch it (sometime in the summer). I am totally unsure of what I can do and can't do and I was given no indication from the medical staff having said that they were superb and I thought they looked after me extremely well in a very professional caring way!
So I am now on the road to recovery and hoping it won't be too long before I am back to peak performance.

Great News!

I have a date for my neck operation which will be the 7th of February. It is on a Saturday so that should minimise the fact that it will be cancelled due to emergencies as the staff are there specifically for the purpose of getting waiting lists down.
I have a back up plan now though as a friend has offered to use his fishing knives and do the operation himself and as he said there will be a book or a video on the internet somewhere showing how to do it. Lets hope it doesn't come to that :) I cannot explain the way I feel at the moment but I will remain slightly sceptical until I have really and truly had operation. I am just looking forward now to being able to get myself fit again and getting out windsurfing in the summer.

Burnley soldier on!

What a great result for the clarets away against Premiership (just) side West Bromwich Albion back to Turf Moor on the 3rd of February still in it, could win it! Well done Owen Coyle and the lads.

Waiting! waiting! waiting!

Now I am waiting to se if another consultant will take me on, if so I could be in earlier than the 19th but if I am taken on by someone else then I will not be going in on the 19th. The world of hospital bookings is a nightmare. I have to wait now until next week when someone elses secretary will ring me. If I have not heard by Tuesday I will ring and find out what is going on. I have decided to defer my MA course for a year until this time next year as I really can't concentrate at all I tried my best but with a potential op in the middle of a data practical it just wasn't to be. Anyway I will still do research and write chapters for my disseration which I will now hand in 1 st September 2010.
Had a couple of pints with Gerry last evening, was good to go out but was really glad to come home my neck was not very good and is still aching, wish I could zoom up the list and get it done. I managed not to read last weeks Sunday Times which is crazy since I have nothing else to do, must have been a hard week so I got stuck in today and have just got the tabloid bits to read I am sure I'll get through it tomorrow before the latest one appears. I am willing Burnley on to beat or at least draw with WBA in the FA cup at the moment they are losing 2-1 I wish they would win I ws so proud of them on Wednesday against Spurs, they should have won but then that's football as they say a game of two halves and all that.

Now we want to install a wood burning stove great I hear you say but what a carry on we recived a first quote form a company and they were going to charge £860.00 to fit itwell I thought this was a lot of money especially when we were quoted £700.00 for the stove.

Well I went on the Web and found a great little stove, wood and coal just what we wanted for £400.00 but you know what we live in a smokelees zone so that was no good we need the £1000.00+ stoves to comply for goodness sake the whole thing os going to coast about £2000.00 I just hope it is justified in this climate (joke!)

So I found another firm who tells me that the lining will have to come out and that he knows a person who can do the hearth and I'm thinking kerching kerching again. I have emailed the stove spec so he can quote a price for fitting it then I suppose we will have to get someone in to create the hearth when will this ever end, I would be happy if the whole thing just got filled in or plastered over but then it would make it a feature of the room. Anyway watch this space!

Hosptial News

Well I feel as if I am hounding the staff at the hospital but I am trying to get things sorted as soon as possible. I have an unconfirmed date now 19th February 2009 for the operation. Now this is unconfirmed because the secretary needs to ask the consultant if he will take me into his care. If he agrees then I will need to meet him on the 11th of February 2009 and sign a consent form. So I feel a lot better now I just hope against hope that it will be confirmed, this will then be two months after the original dates for the operation. I don't know what is happening at present but I am feeling dizzy and not 100% it must be the pain in my neck that is causing that (some would say that the pain in the neck is me!). I went into work yesterday and they had remembered my birthday I was absolutely made up it's nice to know people think about you makes you feel good. I am struggling at the moment with what to do about my MA study, I have tried so hard and worked to keep up but my supervisor suggested I should defer for a year and concentrate on getting my neck sorted. Initially I was so against this I emailed her and said so but the way am feeling at the moment I am inclined to agree with her and take the time, I will talk to her on Friday and make the decision after hearing what she says, I am hoping I can get my initial survey out as that is done and then do work in the sidelines to make it easier when I do comeback to the taught bit which is Qualitative and Quantitative methods I will be able to understand some stuff and then concentrate on the dissertation. What seemed a crazy idea initially is now seeming to be a good idea, as long as I can keep up the enthusiasm.

Operation Cancelled

Well it happened again, I am getting used to the format of waiting in the ward now, nil by mouth from 19.30 night before, no drink from 12.00, sign in, sit down read a book swab for MRSA, blood pressure, go through the questions from the nurse, go through the questions from the Doctor then wait ..... The the sister appears with that look o her face and says "you are not going to like me..." Yep the operation is cancelled. Now I am not reeling with anger, how can you be, someone with a more urgent need than yourself has taken preference and after all I can walk out the hospital but by the same token I am in pain, I can't do the things I want to do, I am unable to do my job which is really getting me down but what happens next. Well things do get worse, my consultant retires at he end of the month now again I am not blaming him for that goodness knows the man has already come back out of retirement once and after a long career he deserves to put his feet up or what ever a successful neuro surgeon does in retirement so good luck to him but it still leave me with a problem of how to get my neck done. I am not complaining per se I just wish someone had thought about this before hand and had put a contingency plan in place. It may be I have to go back to visit another consultant and then go through the whole last six months again. Grrrrrrrrr! but then there is no one really to blame it is just so annoying, a friend has suggested filling out a form e112 to get the op done in Europe?Now if it was a broken leg or something like that I would have no reservations but the Hospital I am under is a leader in Neurosciences and that sort of makes me feel comfortable and they have an expertise which others may not have so whats a boy to do then. Well I guess talk to the administrators on Monday and try my best to get the first available date for he operation. Stop feeling so sorry for myself, and get on as best I can with things. Gosh that was a good rant I fell a little better now and I hope those who under went emergency surgery yesterday are OK!

One day to go before the Op

Well by this time tomorrow I will hopefully be recovering from my neck operation I think I will probably be still out for the count but by the afternoon I should be on the road to recovery. I hope so anyway.

I will ring the hospital later today to find out if can where I am on the list, because I was postponed from before Christmas I should think I will be on first - hopefully!

4 days to the Op

Well this is the last week before the Op on Friday hopefully there will be no emergencies and I will be on the road to recovery by Friday afternoon to say I can't wait seems crazy but that is true I just want the whole thing done and dusted so I can get on with things without pain and and discomfort.

New Year

I know it is the New Year because I had to think about the date when I wrote a cheque and remembered it was 2009 how clever I am! Still New Year old stories, war, famine, abuse, administrators. What I want to know is will we ever run out of receivers, not the American football type but the company type and how much would a company save not bringing in the receivers?
All this talk of the high street demise well what do people expect, it is far easier to buy online and have the choice to return than to go into a crowded high street and haggle to get things changed. I would do all my shopping online if I could and that then would leave the high street to change into an urban residential paradise all those shops with massive floor spaces turned into dwellings now that would be great! Only 13 days to my operation, hope the surgeon doesn't get the flu and postpone again! Anyway don't worry because you can start to save money now for your 2009 Christmas Hamper/vouchers what a splendid idea! I must go to the high street and start to save now oops I forgot there are no shops i the high street anymore, will this mean that it will be called the low street now after being brought down a peg or two. Ok I'm in rambling mode so end.